Past
The feeling that God might be calling me to be a Christian priest wasn’t something I ever really expected, or thought much about when I was younger. Women Priests did not exist in the Church of England until 1994 and the Church in Wales in 1997, in that respect there were no role models for me.
As my family were not church goers, some of my earliest experiences of Church were as a Brownie and Girl Guide. It was on Guide Camps that I first became aware of rhythms of prayer and in the outdoors, in the beauty of nature that I was most aware of the presence of the divine.
I didn’t make a public profession of faith until I was 27 years old, by that time I was a wife, mother, and teacher. I met one of my best friends Kath when we were both 18-year-old undergraduates. At that time, I would probably have described myself as more Buddhist than Christian - Kath was a Christian studying Islamic Studies, I read Religious Studies. Interfaith dialogue was normal for us! When I first told Kath that I thought God might be calling me to be a Christian priest, she wasn’t surprised, she told me she’d been expecting this for a while.
I feel very privileged to have reached the age of 50 without any significant health problems, but my life has in many ways not been what I expected. I have some regrets but I’m not disappointed. When I was in my teens, I didn’t really expect to go to university at all - no one else in my family had done so before. When I left home in Kent at the age of 18, to study at what was then St David’s University College in Lampeter (part of the University of Wales and is now the Lampeter Campus University of Wales Trinity St David), I didn’t expect that I would meet a Welsh man, be married in a Welsh chapel, and now to have lived in Wales longer than I lived in England.
Present
When I first arrived in the parish outside Carmarthen where I now serve as priest, I had a list of people who used to come to church but didn’t anymore. Some because they were sick or disabled, some because they had fallen out with the previous Vicar or God, and some for non-specified reasons. I set out to visit them and one of the names on the list was Margaret. I didn’t know much about Margaret, but I went to her house and knocked on the door. After what seemed like an age, she finally opened it (I later discovered it takes her a while to get to the door because she only has one leg!)
“Hello, I’m Gaynor the new Curate”.
“Ah yes I’ve been expecting you, we’re related!”
Well, that was a surprise, and took the wind out of my sails a bit! It turned out Margaret was related to my first husband (It’s not that much of a myth that everyone is related to everyone in West Wales!)
I certainly didn’t expect to become a widow and single parent at the age of 40, and I definitely didn’t expect to have to discover how to navigate the world of online dating. Eventually I hoped that I would meet someone to share my life with again, but I didn’t expect to be making marriage and ordination vows only a week apart.
What other people expect when they meet a Priest is interesting too, often people apologise for swearing a lot, they don’t expect to see me in the supermarket (priests eat too!) and there has been more than one time when I haven’t been wearing a clerical collar and people haven’t believed me when they’ve asked me what my job is!
I still love the outdoors. These days I’m often accompanied on walks and adventures by Caleb the wonder dog. The churches I lead have worshipped in forests, parks and on the beach, and all of the churches I have responsibility for are A Rocha UK recognised eco churches.
I’m still in Guiding too. When I was a Brownie, the leader was called Brown Owl and I was in charge of Scottish Kelpies group. I didn’t expect that the 7–10-year-olds I volunteer with now would be in groups called Dragon, Phoenix, Mermaid and Unicorn, but times have changed. I didn’t expect they would call me Bumble Bee either, but that’s the name they gave me as one of my other interests is bee keeping.
Future
Now I stand on the cusp of expectation again as I prepare to take up a new post as Christian Chaplain in the Faith@CampusLife team at Swansea University. When I look back over my life there is much that I may not have expected to happen, but others have had expectations of me that have mirrored reality and often on reflection I feel that God has given me experiences that have prepared me for different phases of my life.
I will officially join the team on the 1st of June 2023, and I hope that I come with an open mind and that my expectations aren’t too fixed. I wonder what the university and wider community might expect of me though, as together we shape this new role, and I look forward to meeting you and finding out! If you haven’t engaged with the Faith@CampusLife team before why not start with me? If you don’t know quite what to expect right now, or things haven’t turned out for you as you expected we have things in common. If you’d like to explore what faith might expect or your expectations of faith, I’m happy to explore that with you for a while, or perhaps I can signpost you to somewhere too.
In her book The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration, Vera Nazarian asks “Would you like to know your future?” She suggests that “If your answer is yes, think again. Not knowing is the greatest life motivator. So, enjoy, endure, survive each moment as it comes to you in its proper sequence -- a surprise.”
I look forward to being continually surprised, maybe if you are prepared to challenge and change your expectations, you may also be surprised by faith.